LOOKING BACK ON WHAT LEADERSHIP IS

            When I came into the NCS program for Organizational Leadership, I was doing it to better myself and to build confidence in my leadership skills. I felt like I was a small fish in a big pond most of my life, yet I was being put into positions where I was in charge and people relied on me, my critical thinking, and my willingness to act.  This was a very uncomfortable yet exciting position to be in, which is why I wanted to learn how to be a confident leader.

            A leader to me was a person who was great at influencing others to follow them into the trenches. I don’t think a good leader does things right the first time.  They are the type of person who goes into a situation with the information that they have and just does what they need to do.  Granted, they may not know all of the outcomes, but they are not afraid to get into the thick of things to get a result.

            One thing I learned over these past two years, is that done, is better than perfect.  I get very hung up on the details of being perfect, and making things look pretty.  But when I do that, I can overwhelm myself and then I either don’t finish the task, or I make it harder for my self to maintain motivation.  I don’t know why or how I came to the conclusion that letting go of perfectionism would help me.  The result has been a shift in thinking and the actions have actually improved a lot of my relationships.

            Perhaps by just trying to not control everything, I learned that I can be an example rather than an expert.  And I feel like this has helped me become a stronger leader.  The times I’ve had a hard time building the courage to speak in front of people, and my reluctance to show examples of my finance work have now faded away and are now a memory of how far I’ve come.

REVIEWING MY LPAP PAPER FROM ORGL 3010

            In all honesty, I am not a fan of writing lengthy papers. I’m also not a fan of reading them either.  But I did look back at my previous LPAP paper from ORGL 3010.  During that time, I was undergoing a massive shift in my life.  My health became strained, and I was in a space of uncertainty about my immediate future.  To distract myself from my burdens, I decided that instead of letting go of my responsibilities, I should focus on the things that I can control, and that was my ability to live up to my responsibilities.

            “When a leader sets the tone in productive ways, he or she helps group members perform at their highest levels of excellence (Larson & LaFasto, 1989).” (Northhouse, 2009)

This quote resonated with me a lot during that time.  I found myself able to still keep up with my workload and my schoolwork.  However, I was being transparent with my colleagues at school and at work about my health situation.  I was given the option to step back.  And I know I could have taken advantage of that more than I needed to.  But it was not what I wanted to do.

            I wanted to prove to myself, that I am capable of being able to face challenges that are beyond my control.  I’m not trying to be the hero or the sympathy, but it was very important for me to not let a setback get the best of me.  My teammates in two of my classes were very cooperative and allowed me to step back when I needed to.  At work, my managers and colleagues stepped in to take a few of the daunting tasks off of my plate so that it would become a mountain of work for me to come back to.

            From this whole experience, I learned to value the importance of teamwork.  I know that teamwork is important and that the basic concept is that everyone does their part to get the job done.  But what I really learned was that you can really rely on your team, as long as you do your part if you need to step away.  

Maybe there is a theory about this.  I know that if you don’t allow people to feel empowered and like they are valuable in their work, it will lead to bad outcomes and frustrations.  The valuable lesson in the importance of teamwork is to learn to be ok with not being able to do it all.  

WHAT AM I HOPING PEOPLE CAN LEARN FROM ME? 

            This is more of a question for me than it would be for anyone else.  I learned about me.  There were times where I was doubting myself and my abilities.  I learned that I had to just keep pushing on.  It’s not easy to keep moving, but you don’t have keep making big moves.  The smallest action can have a big impact.  

            I let go of being a perfectionist a lot, however I still have my perfectionist qualities.  I think what people can learn from me is not doubt yourself, and to go easy on yourself too.  If you fail, it’s ok.  You can always try again.  And failing is a good lesson on how to do better.  There’s not needed to feel guilty or embarrassed when you don’t know something either. It’s ok to ask questions to understand what you should do.  From there you can decide how you want to move forward.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS ABOUT LEADERSHIP

            I am going to go back to a metaphor that sums up a lot of what I think leadership is; being a leader is like herding kittens.  It cannot be done without a great deal of effort.  Some people may not be able to relate to this, but others definitely will.  There is no control in leadership.  You can only influence the people around you to trust in your ability to lead them.

            I go back to how you have to be able to encourage others and not be obsessed with control.  My reflection process this week has empowered me to trust in myself that I do have the tools, along with my own personal growth to lead a larger dynamic.  One of the things I hope to pass on to there’s who are looking to become an influencer is not be obsessed with getting approval.  

            Also, don’t compare yourself to others.  Comparison is the thief of joy.  The perspective I have on life is to not get upset if things don’t work out the way I want them to.  If you want to influence people to succeed on their own, show them compassion when they realize that they failed, and give them kudos when they succeed at something, even if it’s not the way you would have done things. 

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